Do you ever check in on yourself and ask how are you doing? Do you then listen to what you have to say?  Seriously, I mean really listen, not just brush yourself off, and put yourself on ignore.     

Over these past few weeks, now turning into months, we have taken on a different life style.  People are working from home, or not working at all, or working all kinds of crazy hours!  Many are spending more time with their family, homeschooling their children, and are loving it, or—maybe not so much!  ha-ha 

We are experiencing a way of life we never imagined, but it has also been an unplanned opportunity to try new things.  For me, it really enforces that we never know what’s around the very next corner, and all things are subject to change without notice!

So, this brings me to the check in on yourself part.  What have you been enjoying in your new daily life?  Have you settled into working from home, cut through all the technological bugs, and developed a new routine that fits you well? Maybe for you, you miss the office setting, or work environment, and find yourself off course and distracted?  Regardless of your answer, it’s most important that you do your own self assessment, and acknowledge how you are feeling.  Are you excited to get back to work?  Or, does it make you feel nauseous and sad?

The time has come when businesses and services are starting to re-open.  It is without a doubt that owners and advisers are brain storming behind the scene, looking at options for restructuring and reorganizing to meet new requirements and needs.  Businesses will not re-open as they were.  If you are an employee, you are part of the new plan being considered. 

There may be no better time than now, while your employer is in the planning stage, to state what you desire, and ask for what you want.  Sounds pretty simple and straight forward, huh?  No!!  Well, not for many!  I have come to learn that for many people the very thought of stating what they desire is terrifying!  They get totally tripped up in their fear!  They would rather stay stuck and unhappy, than to have a conversation with their employer!  But this is the thing—your employer is not a mind reader; they don’t know what you want unless you tell them. 

I understand the feeling of trepidation, anxiety, and fear of rejection, but if you don’t move past your fear, and open the conversation, you become subject to what you are given, not necessarily what you desire.  So, how do you do this?  Let’s dispel the fear that may be paralyzing you, and get things in perspective, and in order.  Your relationship with your employer is a mutual agreement. As with any relationship, it has to work for both of you in order for it to thrive in a healthy manner. You are completely within your rights to have a discussion about the terms of your employment. 

First, stop the scary story that’s going on in your head!  Imagining all the things that could go horribly wrong, that in reality would never happen.  Conjuring images and thoughts that are completely irrational and untrue.  If you have done this, you know exactly what I mean!  So—clean up your thoughts, and get excited about all the things that can go right!

Consider for a moment that once you open the conversation and get into discussion, other options, or compromises, are presented that are even better than you imagined!  Yup, that happens more often than you might think.  Don’t ever assume, or try to guess, what the other person is thinking, what they will say, or how they will respond.  You need to get yourself psyched up, not psyched out!   

Let’s get to it……

What is it that you desire?  What have your learned about yourself over these past weeks? What is the change you would like to make relating to your job?  Why do you want this?  How does it improve your quality of life? Write it down on paper. This is private, just for you, and not meant to be shared with anyone.  It’s a process that will help you get clear.

Next, set up your meeting with the person you are needing to talk to.  Talk to the right person!  The right person is not a co-worker, or friend who has no part in this.  The right person is the one who can help you, who understands the various aspects of the business, and has the authority to make decisions.  This is not a good time for email or text.  Even though it feels less threatening, it may not work to your advantage.  Too much is left open to interpretation by the reader.  Since we are practicing physical distancing, a video call would be perfect.  Face to face, where the conversation can flow.  Next best would be a phone call.

Once your meeting is set up, you are on your way!  Give yourself plenty of time before your meeting to think about, and plan, what you are going to say.  Make notes if it helps you.  I am going to suggest that once you get past the initial pleasantries of, “hello, how are you, and thank you for meeting with me”, that you simply and briefly state your desire, whatever it is.  Getting it out there right off the bat, not only helps prevent nervous rambling, it lets the other person know what the meeting is about.  It is then your choice whether, or not, you say why you want this, completely dependent on your situation.  If it will help, then share. 

Next, ask for what you want. Are you now thinking, what the heck does she mean? lol I stated what I desire, now I ask for what I want?  What’s the difference?  Here it is—saying what you desire is a statement, informing whatever it is that you would like. Asking is when you open the topic for discussion, by way of a question, example: “could we discuss this, and see how we could make it work?”  There you have it…state, then ask.  Very respectful, non-confrontational, shows consideration for the other party, and encourages conversation.  If you have ideas or solutions, offer them now.  (Nothing scary going on here, right?) 

Communicating in a calm, respectful and open manner, will always serve you best. At very least it will leave you feeling good about yourself. You are not responsible for the other person’s response, or reaction, you are responsible only for you.  Treat others how you want to be treated. 

You may not immediately get all that you want. It could take some time to get things organized, and all the pieces in place. In the meantime, relax, stay positive, and trust that what you desire is on its way!

Keep in touch, take care and stay safe!  ❤️